Believe it or not, empathy and accountability aren’t mutually exclusive. Many leaders shy away from accountability conversations out of fear that the two cannot, and do not, coexist. If you’ve been steering clear, you’re potentially missing out on big gains. Research shows that, when paired, empathy and accountability reinforce and support each other.
Fearing Accountability
Survey results from Culture Partners [1] revealed 82% of their 40,000 participants reported they either try yet fail or avoid accountability altogether. Leaders may be concerned about holding employees accountable for a number of reasons. They may fear it will hurt their relationships, turn them into the enemy, cause too much discomfort or make staff resign or quietly quit. Staying stuck in these worries can cause leaders to miss out on crucial moments of growth. Accountability can be an opportunity to offer support and show compassion, strengthen relationships, increase confidence and elevate employee engagement.
Using Accountability to Cultivate Psychological Safety
One surprising, and major, reward for creating a culture of ownership and shared responsibility is psychological safety. Research by Harvard professor, Dr. Amy Edmondson, shows that holding employees accountable appropriately, and with care and intentionality, doesn’t erode trust. It does the opposite. It can actually create and maintain psychological safety in the workplace. Her research reveals that when leaders establish spaces that are safe for employees to speak up and make mistakes, feedback and accountability begin to feel like a “learning zone” instead of a harsh critique. These conversations can grow employees while also strengthening the supervisor-direct report relationship.
Understanding Empathy
Empathy is sometimes confused with being soft or bending the rules for others. Dr. Brené Brown defines empathy [2] as “connecting to the emotions that underpin an experience.” Leaders aren’t bending rules by being empathetic. Instead, they are attending to the person they are leading. Employees aren’t robots. They have emotions and cognitions that can get stressed under ever-changing demands. When executives and managers attend to the employee’s experience with empathy, they can connect with staff about tough subject matter and support growth opportunities like constantly navigating change and using critical thinking for problem-solving. A conversation of understanding elevates meetings from quick check-ins on task completion and productivity to true learning.
What is Empathetic Accountability?
Leaders can provide empathetic accountability by slowing down and being intentional in their thinking about:
- How they lead
- How direct reports work best
Reflecting on questions like, “How can I support this employee and help them accomplish their work?” and “What barriers might get in the way of this individual executing their tasks?” prompts empathy in leaders while also preparing them for a productive discussion.
Holding the Team Accountable with Empathy and Psychological Safety
1. Set clear expectations. Dr. Brené Brown says it perfectly, “Paint it done.” Hold yourself responsible first. Did you set clear expectations? When? How? How are you sure? Did you skip anything that could have contributed to the employee stalling or failing? Empathetic accountability starts with an honest look at what we did, or didn’t do, to set the team member up for success.
2. Offer support. After determining how the expectations were set, it’s time to think about your observations of this employee. Has this person appeared or even stated feeling overwhelmed, exhausted or burned out? Whether the answer to that question is “yes” or “no,” take time to understand their individual experience. If someone says imposter syndrome is slowing them down, share how common that feeling is and let them know how confident you are in their work. Be supportive of where the person is, and don’t rush the conversation to the tasks.
3. Speak honestly and intentionally. Prep yourself for the conversation by identifying the best approach. Ask yourself, “What do I need to pay attention to for this discussion to be successful?” The logistics matter. What location would be best for this discussion? Their office or yours? Is there a day or time of day that works best for this person? Also, keep in mind that you knew this discussion was coming and what you intend to say. Your teammate may be surprised or freeze up. They may be talkative or quiet. Don’t see their initial reaction as defensive or resistant. Instead, be present and empathetic. Let them know you understand, want them to process this information in whatever way serves them best and are happy to discuss.
Remember: Emergenetics [3] can help you prepare. If you have your counterpart’s Profile, review it and yours to align your approach with their needs.
4. Make check-ins meaningful. After the initial discussions, don’t disappear and only reappear to ask for a progress check on the task. Empathetic accountability keeps people first and performance second. Check in on how your team member is doing; then ask about the work. “You mentioned feeling overwhelmed before. How have you been feeling since we talked about those strategies?” A person-first approach increases the likelihood of a more honest and productive conversation to talk about how the tasks are coming along.
Creating a Culture of Empathic Accountability
Will Guidara shares a powerful concept in his book, Reasonable Hospitality, called “charitable assumptions.” Giving a charitable assumption means showing others incredible grace in the midst of confusing behavior. It’s empathy in action. Leaders can build a culture of empathetic accountability by slowing down while keeping people and charitable assumptions at the forefront. Leaders can even start with themselves. Hold yourself accountable in front of the team. Model vulnerability by sharing where you fell behind and how you’re giving yourself grace and moving forward.
Author Bio:
Angela Landers is the Program Director of the University System of Georgia’s (USG) Leadership and Institutional Development unit. She provides leadership and professional development to USG employees throughout the state of Georgia.
References
Brown, B. (n.d.) Dare to lead. https://brenebrown.com/art/dare-to-lead-empathy-is-not-connecting-to-an-experience/ [2]
Culture Partners. (2025, March 14). Landmark workplace study reveals crisis of accountability. https://culturepartners.com/insights/landmark-workplace-study-reveals-crisis-of-accountability/ [1]
Edmondson, A. (2018). The fearless organization: Creating psychological safety in the workplace for learning, innovation, and growth. Wiley.
How can Emergenetics elevate your leadership? Fill out the form below to connect with our team today!